Counting days misses the point.
When you focus on counting the number of consecutive days you’ve gone without drinking, you’re paying attention to the wrong thing; you’re focused on the behavior.
And who could blame you, that seems like a reasonable place to start, right?
The problem is that behavior doesn’t take place in a vacuum. It’s always driven by a feeling (desire for alcohol, restlessness, etc.), and the feeling is triggered by a thought.
When you focus just on the behavior, you’re left relying on will-power, white-knuckling, distraction, or avoidance to get you through your cravings.
Have you met someone who quit drinking years ago but still thinks about it regularly? It’s likely they changed the behavior, but not the habitual thinking and feeling behind it. They still want alcohol even if they don’t let themselves have it.
But real freedom happens when you stop wanting alcohol. When you don’t want it, the drama falls away. Not drinking becomes the default. But that doesn’t come from muscling through sober days. It comes from understanding why you drink in the first place and deconditioning the habit by allowing urges peacefully.
No matter how many times you’ve tried to change your drinking, this is 100% possible for you.
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